reading phobia?

I read an article of a study about the reading habits of Americans. The average of books read, is 17. The study also stated, "19% of respondents aged 16 and over said that they hadn't read a single book in any format, over the previous 12 months." This means to their figures, 50 million Americans don't read books at all." I will link the article at the end.

This got me thinking why the number is high. However, I was thinking more along the lines, I bet some who do not read, have had bad experiences with reading. I can relate. Reading aloud or silently is not an easy thing for me to, while it is easy for everyone else. I guess you could call it a "reading phobia" if one wants to take that far, started in school. It always took me at least three times longer to finish the silent reading, and still not understanding it. Reading aloud in class was the worse. I could not say most of the words correctly, and always being corrected. After many years of being told I could not read, I gave up. I never read anything for enjoyment. Still today, I find it hard to pick up a book and read it for fun.

http://goo.gl/b7G7B

I was sitting in a park alone, people watching, and enjoying being outside. When I realized the park was a prop. We think the environment is something we can change and use for our own deeding. I mean look at what time of year it is, springtime. When people go and buy pretty plants to make their house look more curbside appealing. The thinking seems to be pretty yards equal to a "good" person. We use up the most valuable resource for something that has no beneficial factor for us at it all. We could use that water to grow our own food. But why do that when driving a few miles down the road can get you a tomato. Some might say, that God made the world for us to use. If, that is true, God made it for us to use, but not to abuse. However that is what we are doing, we are abusing this world. And two things happen when something is abused for long enough. It will give up or it will fight back. It is only a matter of time, when Earth will do one of these things. If Earth gives up and dies, we will die also. If Earth fights back, fun times will not be had by all. We need to do is show some care toward Earth and then we might be okay.

I know many people are doing their part in saving Earth,and us. However, it seems, there are many more people that do not care about the environment. I am just saying we can do a better job than we are now.

On a late spring night, I was setting on our deck waiting to see a cat fight. We were having trouble with other cats fighting our cats. So, I was sitting in the dark, with the outside lights off, to see if anything was going to happen. I looked up at the stars, and saw a plane coming in for a landing at the airport. This was a normal thing. I looked away to pick up my binoculars, that I use mostly to look at the stars. With nothing else to do, I was going to follow the plane with them. When I looked back up, the plane was gone. I mean it was gone. It did not go over, because I would have heard that, and I know it was coming toward me. It did not turn left or right, because I would have been able to see it. That thing was gone.

The Darkness

It is gets harder find the light each time the darkness grows thick around me. The war with depression is tedious, but it must be won. However, the skirmishes continue to no end.

I have been pill popping, on and off, for many years. The last round on them lasted for eight months, and everything was going okay. I was feeling better, didn’t want to hide, and the other beneficial factors were acting their parts also. Nonetheless, I stopped taking them, as I always do when feeling better. Within six months, the darkness had hidden the light again. The decision was made, and I was to go to counseling. I have gone to counseling before, but it never had an impact on me. This time it has to work. Four visits in and I want to stop going. I could give "reasons" why to stop, "I don’t like the counselor," "it's not working," "it's inconvenient," and so on. However, none of it would be true. The counselor is okay, and it's far from being inconvenient. A sense of lost however has filtered through the darkness. The darkness has been with me for so long, it is a part of me, and I would miss it. It is true it only brings me the feeling of, darkness. At least I know I can feel when the darkness is occupying me. I am not sure if I can feel anything but darkness. If I let it go, I might not be able to feel again.

It is occurring to me, I might be afraid of winning the war.

Snow Pictures February 20

The Eastern Shore

I don’t care what you say, a storm is coming.